It is wise to be discerning of the persons with whom we spend our valuable time. Humans beings, whether positive or otherwise, will deposit something into the minds and spirits of those around them, so let’s be mindful to keep those nurturing ‘plus' persons in our lives...
Have you ever encountered an individual who consistently leaves you feeling positively charged every time you’ve had even the most basic of conversations? Perhaps it was the lighthearted teasing as you tried to explain a low moment in your life. And even though they’ve clearly gleaned that you were feeling badly about yourself and well, your entire life, they simply refused to allow you to wallow in this emotion. Instead, they bantered about some secondary notion, so ridiculous that you were forced to laugh with (or at) them retorting how seriously silly they are, and assuring them that you must spend more time with them to get their heads back in order… Or perhaps you’ve encountered someone who’s the philosopher in your life – their wealth is shared in the form of wonderful wisdom. The teaching that transpires seems so effortless for these individuals because they’re chuck-full of life examples of how much worse your life could be if the situation were remotely similar to the passage you’ve just heard (in fact, their stories always end up making you feel so fortunate that you’re living your best life, and not the one in their story!) Has such a person ever left you feeling rather grateful and thinking “... how could I have missed that point in the first place?” Then, there’s the third “plus personality" who just lets you travel two to ten minutes into self-doubt and self pity, agreeing to every woeful utterance that you're unloading and points out how much better it would be to be on the other side of your challenge - you then compare the "opposite side" of your challenge to your current situation only to come to the realization that you’ve been set up! They have led you to recognize that your problem looks like a trip to the beach compared to a truly opposite scenario! Now, I think it is important to acknowledge here, that in certain circumstances there may be no denying that your problem is real and that some measure of worry is in fact logical and prudent. It very well could be that you’re actually living through a genuine crisis. Any of these three “plus” personalities will effortlessly guide through the road to recognition: there’s much opportunity for growth in the midst of a life conflict. Add some self-reflection, and there’s even room for some developing a sense of well-being in the midst of a crisis.
I find that having such personalities in one's life fosters great learning that can empower you to transform these experiences as applications for future situations. I’ve experienced this dynamic numerous times with the plus persons in my life. Some have been family members, or a significant other, a mentor or a life-long friend who frankly, has become life-long, because of these qualities!
If you haven’t identified these personalities in your life, I advise you to take a much deserved moment with a hot cup of tea, or a cold glass of lemonade … or merlot, grab a pen and paper, and make a list of the priceless tribe that you subscribe to in a moment of trouble or need. If you can readily think of two or three names to add to your list, you’re on your way to building a necessary and great human resource. Take some time periodically to establish a winning inner-circle for your day to day existence and add these life producing persons to that winning circle. Life flows better when you consciously determine whom these invaluable persons are in your life. By the way, don’t forget to add yourself to the list and tribe of others! There ought to be others out there who can call on you during a moment of doubt or emotional discomfort. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that nine out of ten times, there’s someone in your life who can benefit from hearing your experiences and your perspective on any given life event. Yes, well developed circles will multiply for the greater good of many! As you establish your tribe list, offer your name for the lists of others!
MAS 7/2019
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