Moving from a relationship in which you were planning your empty nest years with a significant other, to becoming a single woman approaching retirement can be a very daunting situation for many women. Such a transition can be especially unnerving for a woman who has been left suddenly, to now figure things out ‘solo.’ This sort of change can complicate your transitions a bit, but they need not be the ‘be-all, end-all’ to your destination – easy street!
It is a common scenario - we think we have a lot of time to prepare for the glorious day. I’ve heard so many variations on the theme: “you know, it kind of hit me overnight” or “I realized I could technically retire, but financially, I couldn’t realistically retire!” So, what is your story? After years of contemplating how and when you wanted to move to your next chapter, you looked around you, and found that other life-long colleagues, had moved on. You have attended all the ‘so-long’ celebrations and you simply expected your turn would be coming up soon after. And so, a majority of those colleagues have taken the plunge and now you’re feeling, well, left behind.
At this point, you’re somewhat panicked now and wondering how this happened to you! You and your inner group were just chatting and considering retirement options and comparing numbers of years of service! You were teasing each other and making ranking lists to show who would be eligible for retirement first, second, and last! You remember vividly that you were at the top of the middle category list. Periodically you thought to yourself and offered to other inquiring minds, that you’d allow your mate to take the plunge before you. But over time, life happened, and your status has changed significantly. At what point did you lose your focus on the reward and end up one of the last ones standing in that office?
From under the sea of busy-work, many women wake up like this, one day – confused about their present condition in terms of their careers, their families, their social status and beyond. This very abbreviated scenario is not farfetched! If it sounds remotely like your current situation you may indeed be underprepared for the significant milestone ahead of you. So, let us start the process right now, by acknowledging that you need to get the ball rolling right away. It
may help to evaluate common profiles discussed by several women right before embarking on their research and resource gathering.
Which of these scenarios would you say best describes you?
Exhibit A -
Estelle, is a recently divorced 55-year-old woman who works in a busy educational setting. Although it is rigorous work, she has always found her professional work to be very satisfying - but lately she has been feeling like she doesn’t have the energy or the focus that she once had. At her age she feels generally fatigued, and feels like she is in a different place compared to the more recent hires - her millennial counterparts. Her preference at this point in life, would be to freelance her skill sets and choose the pace at which she wants to work with clients, from home. Three years ago, Estelle went through a complicated divorce, which has contributed to her ambivalence about undergoing another major transition in life. Yet deep within her most internal dialogues, Estelle welcomes this one with open arms. Unlike her divorce, she believes this transition will be cause for celebration and transformation!
Exhibit B –
Danielle, is a 60-year-old widow. It has only been 8 months since her husband passed away after a long bout with an exhausting illness that has left Danielle quite exhausted herself, both physically and emotionally. Danielle has been chatting with family and friends about retirement for a couple of years but caring for her husband really shifted her desire and ability to focus on the prospects of retirement. Danielle is sure that she has met the minimum requirements for retirement and receiving the pension she has worked so hard for over the years would be a welcome transition at this point. She just doesn’t know if her pension will be enough to get her through her years in retirement.
Exhibit C –
Maribel has been a single woman most of her adult life, but always thought she would “meet a nice person” and have a serious significant other by her side to spend those retirement years with. She feels that could still happen, but at age 57, she has realized that she subconsciously stopped working on her retirement planning in hopes that she would have that second person to share the costs of living with. Maribel is now thinking that she is ‘cutting it close’ and should get her research and planning underway. She has 18 years of service under her belt and would like to retire at age 60, once she has achieved 21 years of service, but she has also considered retirement at 64, when she has achieved 25 years of service.
Whether Estelle, Danielle or Maribel decide to enter a healthy and rewarding relationship in the future, or continue to pursue their wonderful life as a single retiree, is hardly the critical issue at hand in these scenarios. Being married or in a relationship does not mean that you should ignore some very essential steps that each individual should be taking in preparation for their own fulfilling retirement. Truthfully, you would want to know that anyone with whom you determined you want to spend the rest of your life, is equally setting their eggs in the right baskets. In case you were to join forces with that special someone, you can happily share or merge your retirement baskets. But, if you decide to remain the wonderfully-single woman that you currently are, having prepared in a timely manner – with a little bit of help from the right retirement professionals can make those retirement years quite blissful.
First steps:
- Set up meetings with your office of Human Resources. Request your retirement requirements and your status.
- Establish a relationship with all offices from which you need next steps concerning your future retirement
- If you prefer to have the assistance of a professional who can help you to place your retirement eggs in the right baskets, contact your coach and get your steps ordered. Don’t waste time and money, making uninformed mistakes.
- Feel great about what you’re doing for your holistic well-being!
- Start the journey to that wonderful retirement season, and beyond!
Coach Mandy S.
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